In Vino Veritas

Alcohol notions
Dissolve in black coffee.

Unwelcome thoughts
Tucked away
Like shameful genitals.

But is being candid
Really to be compared
To exposing oneself?

Surely that road
Leads to thoughtcrime
And sexcrime.

My frank words
Corrupt the innocent.

Lost in Translation

My language pains me.
I long for facility
To spin metaphor.

But I’m too literal.

Even when I write in terms of imagery my words on the page are simply descriptive of what is in my mind. I listen to songs like I am the Walrus with a strong sense of jealousy.

How I would love to be able to take that step beyond my literal translations to that fantastic realm where instead of painting what I see I am able to conjure whole new worlds.

It makes me feel that I have no imagination; that everything I think of is derivative. I am only able to assemble montages of what already exists, apply what others have invented.

My words disappoint me because they are such a pale imitation of the richness and depth of my thoughts. They are static, a snapshot of the mental maelstrom giving no clue as to the turbulence within.

Disengaged

My representative
Is a faceless man in a suit.
I didn’t vote for him,
I don’t support his party,
Or their policies.

So I sit here wondering
How can I feel represented?
How can my voice be heard?
Who looks out for my interests?
Who understands my life?

Every cross I mark on a ballot
Falls unseen
Into a bottomless pit.
No sound, no ripples
As if it never existed.

Nightmare

She took her leave in dead of night
And silently slipped out the door,
Then by the silver full moon’s light
Retraced the path she took before.

The trees reached up so black and bare,
Frost crackled, glistened under foot.
From bloodless lips the misty air
Of breath hung still and dark as soot.

Deep in her eyes red sparks of light
Burned bright as embers in the ice
That formed her face. Her dreadful sight
Would still one’s heart, exact her price

From those who caught a fleeting glance
Beneath the veil she wore by day
While through the mortal world she’d dance
To watch unseen our artless play.

Raven-clad in cloak of sable
She craves the blood that brings relief.
Nightmare from an ancient fable
Long lost to memory and belief.

Time Capsule

Nine keys,
What locks will they open?
What secrets lie within
To tumble forth?

Stacked papers,
Old letters bound in ribbon
And a watch
Anchored to a past time.

Photographs
Hold frozen memories,
Fade more slowly
Than the pictures in my mind.

The Ennui of Pointless Exchanges

So much time alone
Discourse a forgotten art
Even with myself.

Social relations
A memory on a wall
Posted on Facebook.

I think about Death
And the high cost of living
Balancing my books.

Monotonous trap
Even pain is no relief
Routine no solace.

Chocolate fixes
Addict’s way of marking time
Needle track stretch marks.

Life is but a joke
Reasons to get excited
Like thieves in the night.

Slowly fade away
Melt into billowing swirls
Of media dreams.

Ordinary Lives

Each life begins
In its own place and time.
Distinct. Separate.
A single unique thread
Woven by the Fates
Into the skein
of Life.

Some are short;
Some are long.
Some run straight;
Some loop and twist.
Some stand apart;
Some gather others,
Entwine.

In the end
Each is cut off, ended.
But still a part
Of the one pattern
Into which we all
Find ourselves
Written.

Take even one
And a hole remains.
Its memory impressed
On those it touched.
All so different;
All so similar;
Ordinary.

And exceptional.

I Am Autism

You don’t know me.

You see me sit, rocking.
You hear me talk to myself,
Repeating phrases from the TV.
You watch my hands as they flap
And touch. Seemingly random,
My patterns escape your notice.

You don’t know me.

You see me on the edges,
Quiet, listening but not speaking.
You hear my outbursts:
Violent eruptions of sound and motion.
You note my non-compliance
With black marks in your ledgers.

You don’t know me.

You try to change me,
Remake me in your own image.
You teach me that I am broken.
You punish me for being myself.
You make me fearful and anxious,
Afraid to break your rules.
You drive me deep inside myself.

You don’t know me.

You don’t empathize with me.
You don’t learn about me.
You don’t try to understand me.
You fear me, hurt me, hate me.
You don’t love me: if you did,
You would accept me as I am.

You don’t know me.
You don’t know Autism.

White Shame

My culture is one
Where people
Who look like me
Can stand fearlessly
And express hatred
Of people who look different.

My culture is one
Where terrorists
Are always “them”
And never “us”.

My culture is one
Where freedom
Means the freedom
To oppress and abuse
Anyone different.

My culture is one
Where laws pay lip service
To illusory equality
While turning a blind eye
To casual prejudice.

My culture is one
Where my membership
By virtue of my skin
Brings me shame
Of association.

No More Injustice: #JusticeForKayleb

I’m wondering why
They don’t value young lives.
Citations get written
Cos you just don’t fit in
To society’s round hole
You wind up on parole
Through no fault of your own
Your disabled “behavior” —
I’ll give you a flavor:

Kicking a trash can,
School called the lawman,
Up in front of the big man
For expressing your feeling,
The marked cards he’s dealing:
It’s your life they’re stealing.

Your life they’ll shatter
They don’t think you matter
They don’t really know you
They just try to show you
It’s they who are strong
So you must be wrong.

You’re eleven years old
Gotta do what you’re told,
Your life’s bought and sold,
The authorities are cold.
Their response was so drastic,
Charged with being autistic:
So these guys are tellin’ me
Your expression’s a felony?!!

Ignorant and lazy,
These guys drive me crazy;
They don’t care enough
To learn about this stuff,
And providing support
Just isn’t import-
ant to them.

So,

We’re rounding up friends
To make sure this all ends,
The state must make amends,
That school gotta learn,
Their ways gotta turn,
From the bad to the good.
Accept that they should
Support all their kids,
Not just shut the lids
Of the boxes they use
To excuse their abuse
By assigning some label
To say you ain’t able.

Please sign the petition.